Hail Mary Play

I realized that I post when things are at their worst and then of course don't update the hours and hours of talking things over, trying to work things out. But I figured that if I don't say something now, it is going to be very confusing when Andrew and I are spending so much time together after breaking up. Again.

I am pretty sure my friends are getting fed up with me but I have my reasons for doing anything to work things out. Not only because I think our kids deserve an intact family but that I don't think either one of us really wants to be split up. Andrew stuck by me and put up with my years of crippling anxiety and panic attacks with little complaint. Before we re-evaluate, I want to see if him getting a new job, working full time will relieve some of his unhappiness. I know I am so much happier now that I am working everyday.

I have always hated in romance novels when the two main characters want exactly the same thing, both are unhappy but they have been too proud or are playing stupid games with each other. So that is where we are right now. The family is in Vancouver today to spend Sacha's birthday together. We are all going to spend Christmas in Whistler and at this point we are moving into the same house in January.

I am fully aware that I might be completely taken advantage of and disrespected by doing this, as I have been in the past. But I am willing to take that risk, and am going in with my eyes open, hoping for change. Honestly, all the disrespecting has gone on behind my back and the day to day is pretty much fine.

I will post about Sacha's birthday either later tonight or tomorrow when I have pictures.